Refresh Chicago 2017

About 2 weeks ago, I embarked upon what I believe was my first weekend getaway without husband or children in my nearly 7.5 years of motherhood – and it was glorious.

Don’t get me wrong – I love my family deeply, and had I yearned for weekends away prior to this point, there would have been ways to make it work. Last spring, I heard about the Refresh Chicago conference, and it sounded like some of the other adoptive moms with whom I’ve connected on Facebook were going to make the trip, and I mentioned it to Matt, who announced that I should make it happen. I went ahead and registered, and I convinced one of my best friends, Marisa – who is now just weeks away from becoming an adoptive mom herself! – that she should come with me.

I wasn’t exactly sure until recently exactly how I’d handle the travel details, but I need to give a huge shout-out to Chosen and Dearly Loved for truly facilitating that part of my trip to the conference. They blessed us with a matching grant when we were in process to adopt FangFang, and they reached out to their families this summer to ask if people were interested in going to this conference and offer grants to help make that happen. They paid for a huge portion of my costs of attending the conference. To my knowledge, they are the only grant organization that offers post-placement support, in addition to support during the adoption process, and that is such a huge need, that I am really thrilled to see them stepping into.

Because of that, I was able to fly to the conference without worrying about the cost, and that made it so much easier than having to negotiate the logistics of train or megabus or rental car travel. Plus I arrived in time to have tea with one of my good friends from our Chicagoland days! It was so nice to get that little bit of time to connect with her again in person. Then the rest of the trip was pretty packed with conference activities and adoptive mom hangouts!

The conference itself was great. We began Friday morning with worship, and one moment struck me and has stayed with me. There’s a line in one of the songs we sang – “and darkness tries to hide, and trembles at His voice” that was so humbling to sing in a room filled with adoptive and foster parents – because we have seen the darkness. And I want to believe with my whole heart that the darkness out there in the world today that has come into play in separating our children from their first families and in so many of the realities of their lives is truly trembling at the voice of the living God.

There was also incredible teaching. Kristin Berry is a phenomenal story-teller and encourager. Cindy Lee of the Halo Project OKC is an amazing resource for casting vision for healing from trauma and for practical guidance in how to parent kids from hard places – I’ve appreciated what she has to say every time I’ve heard her speak. I loved getting to hear from Kia Barton, now an adult adoptee, about her experience growing up as a black child with white parents. This was the first time I’d heard Paris Goodyear-Brown speak, and I was highly impressed with her deep understanding of the adversity that children who have experienced trauma can face and how to walk with them through their challenges. I was so encouraged by these reminders of how I can walk alongside my children and love them well.

In addition to the actual content of the conference, it was so encouraging to be surrounded by a group of people who get it. Wanting to be intentional about facilitating those connections and that sense of connection, in our welcome packets, the conference organizers even handed out “me too” signs that we could raise when what other people were sharing resonated with our stories.

Within this context, there was so much background that didn’t need to be explained, so many premises that didn’t need to be established. These people understand the difference between chronological age, developmental age, and family age. They understand the desire to seek for our children racial mirrors and connections to their birth cultures. They understand the tension inherent in telling our own stories and advocating for adoption while keeping our children’s stories private. They have lived the long-term realities of the lasting effects of food insecurity. They grapple with the fight for ethics in adoption. They understand what dysregulation is. They understand sensory needs. They have fought for attachment, both for their children to feel bonded to them and for them to feel bonded to their children. They don’t blink at stories of 3 hour rages; or piles of junk food wrappers found under beds; or seemingly compulsive lying, cheating, and stealing; or alternative high school placements; or police involvement with families. They understand complex developmental trauma and how it can manifest and what it looks like to parent children who have lived through that.

There is such encouragement from being surrounded by people who are walking this journey of adoption and foster parenting, too. One of the biggest blessings of the conference, for me, was getting to spend the weekend with these ladies. Thank you, Kathy, Marisa, Diane, and Becky for hanging out with me!

I actually came home feeling a bit sick, but I enjoyed the opportunity to spend some time snuggling my babies.

We’ve had a lot of dysregulation since my return, and that has been challenging, but I find myself more patient and better equipped with strategies to walk through all of that with my kiddos. It was definitely a great conference and a great trip overall. Would you join me next year?!

The Enneagram and Self-Knowledge

Being a mom, it’s easy sometimes to lose track of yourself as a person, too. Of course you exist in relationship to other people – in particular your children – but there can be times in which you aren’t sure who you are or what you’re doing, except in relation to said children.

It was fun to dig into a book this summer called The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery. A friend asked if I wanted to read it with her, and we ended up having a small group of women from church get together and discuss it. We had people of most different personality types represented there, and one of the most interesting parts of our conversation was hearing about how everyone felt their very different personalities affected their lives and relationships.

Wikipedia describes the Enneagram as “a model of the human psyche which is principally understood and taught as a typology of nine interconnected personality types.” There are a few things I really appreciated about this understanding of personality types. For one thing, it incorporates tendencies toward optimism or pessimism, which I think is an important dimension of personality that isn’t always captured. But I actually don’t love the system as a whole. It seems to me to be 9 semi-random groupings of personality traits, as opposed to a systematic evaluation of where different people fall along various dimensions (like the Myers-Briggs personality type system) – and as someone who prefers logical thought and analysis, I really dislike that. I also think it’s a lot easier to type some people (me) than others (Matt). He and I read much of the book together and had interesting discussions about who we thought might fit which personality type and what that meant for how they interacted with the world, and we got our families in on it, asking my brothers and sister-in-law and then his mom and sister (who were visiting while we were reading it) what types they thought they were.

Even not loving the classification system as a whole, reading the book was still beneficial and fun. I suspect it comes as a surprise to no one who has spent more than 5 minutes with me that I am a One, otherwise known as “the perfectionist.” I’ve been aware of my tendencies toward perfectionism for quite some time, but it was still helpful to read and be reminded of the strengths and weaknesses associated with those tendencies. The summary description of this personality type in the book includes statements like:

  • People have told me I can be overly critical and judgmental.
  • I don’t feel comfortable when I try to relax. There is too much to be done.
  • It seems to me that things are either right or wrong.
  • I notice immediately when things are wrong or out of place.
  • I like routine and don’t readily embrace change.

True, true, true.

And it’s so important to be aware of all of those tendencies in myself! Being aware that I prefer to operate in black and white in the midst of a world of grays helps me not to get so frustrated by the intricacies of different situations and to be willing to look at both sides. Knowing that my tendency is to focus on things that are incorrect is a reminder to me to look at all that is correct, too. Realizing that there are reasons for my love of routine helps me to give myself space to deal with change when it has to happen.

And all of that awareness helps me to be a better wife, a better mom, and a better friend. Just because I am a perfectionist and want everything to be done just so does not mean that my children will appreciate my attention to detail. Because it is so easy for me to notice the negatives, I need to make a special effort to look for the things Matt is doing that are helpful and express my appreciation.

I also appreciated that this book was written from a Christian perspective and included information about spiritual strengths and weaknesses of each personality type. I don’t think I’d thought of my personality influencing my relationship with God in quite that way, and it was a good exercise. Some words that stood out to me were, “If you’re a One, you believe the only way you’ll know peace on the inside is if you perfect everything on the outside. It’s not true.” It really is a temptation for me to pursue peace by getting my external world in order – devising systems for regular toy pick-up, planning our meals and our school days, etc. But true peace comes from Jesus, from being real with Him, working through our thoughts and feelings with Him (the book highlights the importance of Ones being honest about their anger!), trusting in Him, and relying on His Spirit.

Since reading it, I’ve been more cognizant of the ways my personality may be affecting me throughout my days and in my relationships. I still don’t love the Enneagram system as a whole, but I have found that taking the time to look at who I am and what that means for how I live my life was illuminating and helpful!

Post-Surgery and Travel Update

Thank you so much to all of you who prayed us through our travels to Omaha for FangFang’s oral surgery and our return trip back to Missouri!

We left early Thursday morning and made it to the hospital just in time to meet the dentists who would be performing FangFang’s surgery the next day and do our pre-op consultation with them. After that we had the evening to ourselves, so we went and checked into our hotel…

…and then went out to dinner at Block 16, a hipster sandwich shop downtown, which all of us enjoyed! We tried to get FangFang a good last meal with all her teeth 🙂

She went to bed pretty well, and she actually did better than I thought she might with not being able to eat or drink after 8:00 AM. I woke her up around 7:45 to give her a clear liquid breakfast (jello and apple juice were her choices), and then I let her play with an iPad as a distraction while Catherine and I took turns getting some breakfast. We had a 10:00 AM check-in time at the hospital, so the morning was actually reasonably leisurely, and it wasn’t long before we were playing in the hospital playroom with brief breaks to consult with our nurse, a nurse practitioner, the dentists, and the anesthesiologist.

She was pretty happy right up until surgery. I actually declined Versed, and everyone seemed to think that was a good choice, because she seemed so comfortable and happy interacting with everyone, but as soon as she got about 10 feet down the hall from me, she started wailing, and they said I could come back with her. Her oral surgery was taking place in the procedure suite, which apparently has a lower standard of sterility than the OR, so I was allowed to walk into the room with her. I really wish all hospitals would do that for all procedures, whether they’re in the OR or not. FangFang is going to need a number of surgical interventions over her lifetime, and I’d prefer that, as much as possible, she see hospitals as places that help her, as opposed to the locations of traumatic experiences. Nurses seemed very concerned that it might be overwhelming to me to see her go under sedation in preparation for the procedure or have her throat suctioned afterwards, and they didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable. I assured them that I’d witnessed my husband experience cardiac arrest, so nothing they were going to do that day was going to make me uncomfortable, and if I needed to get out of the way, I’d do it. And most importantly, this is about FangFang, not me – if she’s more comfortable with me there, that trumps all else. They let me hold her and sing to her while she went to sleep, and I was so glad.

Catherine and I grabbed some lunch at the hospital cafeteria and then headed back up to our room to wait for FangFang. The dentists came and talked with us and said they’d pulled 5 teeth – the offending back molar that had the deep cavity giving her so much pain and her 4 front teeth, all of which had significant cavities. Because they’d pulled so many, they hadn’t needed to cap any teeth, but the crowding in her mouth will continue to make brushing and flossing a huge priority. They do not believe she has dentinogenesis imperfecta but that it’s more likely that we’re playing catch-up from her years in an orphanage, plus the crowding of her mouth, which is good news, because it means there’s some chance she won’t continue to have such serious dental issues.

It wasn’t long before I was allowed to go back to FangFang in recovery, and I walked in just as she was starting to open her eyes. She was in pain and angry. We got her Tylenol right away, and she wanted to leave that area, so we got to go back to our room right away, but she was still mad. We gave the Tylenol a bit of time to work, but it didn’t seem to be taking the edge off at all, so it wasn’t too long before we requested something stronger, and once she had a dose of Oxycodone, she started to calm. She cried for the mouth pain and cried in hunger and cried from her sore throat every time she had to swallow (she’d been intubated for the procedure). We started gradually introducing some clear liquids – apple juice and water and then jello, and she handled that well (no projectile vomiting!), and just before 4:00 they said we could go!

We weren’t sure how FangFang would do on the car ride home, and I was so thankful to have another adult with me who could help monitor her while we drove. She was pretty content watching Frozen and Daniel Tiger, though, and slept just a bit. She was even happy enough to try on goofy hats at a truck stop where we stopped to give her more pain meds and get gas!

We made it back home just before 11:00 last night, and she was very happy to be back, as was I!

Honestly, the trip itself went pretty well. That was really largely due to Catherine’s presence with us. I so enjoyed getting to chat with her on our drives – it was so much more fun than just driving by myself – and as a mom to four, it almost never happens that I get 10+ hours to hang out with a friend! And she was so helpful in assisting me with everything FangFang needed, getting juice or jello or washcloths to wipe up blood, and entertaining her while I talked with the doctors and dentists. I’m so, so thankful she came – such a blessing and encouragement.

And I’m so glad to be done with the procedure. FangFang was in a fair amount of pain yesterday but seems to be feeling a million times better today. She’s really been in pain for almost a month, and I’m so glad we were able to get this dental work done quickly and be done with it.

Re-entry is always rough, at least for me. I’m so excited to see everyone, but I’m also worn out. I really just want to have some quiet, alone time to read a book and relax. But there’s unpacking to do, and I’m behind on my work week since I was gone for 2 days, and kids need to be fed and cared for, and things at the house are just a little out of sorts any time I return from being gone. It always feels overwhelming to me, and I get snippy. There’s nothing that reveals your selfishness like parenting – and I think that’s doubly true when you add in any special needs. I do feel stretched, and I do feel tired, and I do feel overwhelmed at times, but that’s not a license to be unkind to anyone else, and I definitely fail at living that out.

I’ve tried to spend some time helping everyone settle back in. FangFang and I snuggled and read a book this morning, and a bit later Madeleine CaiQun and I got some one-on-one time reading on the couch together. Miranda and I had some chats, and Atticus came and snuggled with me for a while.

Matt has the kiddos out at a park right now, and I’m hoping to use this time well, doing some catch-up on all the tasks I need to tackle, but also to recharge and be prepared to love well when the rest of the family returns. I spent some time reading my Bible and praying and journaling, which has helped to settle my heart. I’m hoping that when everyone comes home, we can have an evening of enjoying being together, both in cleaning up the house some but also in just spending time together. These people have my heart, and I want to live that out, day by day, moment by moment.

Another Trip to Omaha, Another Surgery

Early tomorrow morning, I’ll load a few more items into our van and take off on a road trip with my newest kiddo. This trip wasn’t entirely anticipated, but it’s necessary.

We knew before we even submitted our Letter of Intent requesting to adopt FangFang that it was likely that she’d have dental issues – dentinogenesis imperfecta is a significant dental condition often associated with osteogenesis imperfecta. Additionally, dental care is often not a priority or even feasible in orphanages. And from day one with FangFang, I’ve known with certainty that she was going to be spending a lot of time with a dentist.

We were working through the process of figuring out exactly what would need to happen and making a plan with our local dentist when the situation became more urgent. FangFang woke up one morning with severe tooth pain, in agony if food even touched one particular tooth that has obvious decay. We got her started on antibiotics and some pain meds right away, but still, she was in a fair amount of pain, and then her cheek started to look swollen. We had to switch her to a stronger antibiotic, and all through that time, we were working with our dentist’s office to determine the best course of action for actually dealing with the offending tooth, as well as some other teeth that are obviously problematic. Our local dentist’s office has been great – in the span of that first painful, sleepless-for-everyone week, I spoke with our dentist’s assistant 5 times and our dentist himself 3 times, including twice on his personal cell phone on a Saturday morning.

One of the things I actually most appreciate about people in general – but especially medical professionals – is a willingness to admit when they don’t know or are not going to be the best person to help you. And our local dentist feels like he’s probably not the best dentist to perform the extensive dental work that FangFang needs during this surgery. That’s a bummer, but we definitely want her to be getting the best care possible, and this is significant oral surgery with some potential complications. The term being thrown around is “total mouth reconstruction.” Add to that the fact that she has OI and that the treatments she receives for OI can change how bone heals, and her local dentist thinks it’s best if a dentist who has more experience doing oral surgery for kids who have OI performs this surgery.

We feel so bad for FangFang – she’s been experiencing tooth pain at varying levels for several weeks now and is about to undergo another surgery. And we’re bummed that it has to happen out of town and right now, right at the beginning of the semester, when Matt can’t take off, and we’re kind of cobbling together support to make the trip and the surgery possible, but this is what we need to do, so we’re doing all we can to make it happen.

Matt will stay here with Miranda, Madeleine CaiQun, and Atticus while FangFang and I make the trip to Omaha. I  had been dreading this trip, both because it would be yet another surgical intervention for my child and because I’d need to do it alone. I love road trips with Matt or with friends, but I really dislike them when I don’t have other adults with me and have to do all the driving and keep myself entertained and awake the whole time. That feeling is intensified when contemplating a road trip with myself as the sole adult with a rear-facing toddler, who, for the drive home, will be just recently post-op. I’d stocked up on road trip snacks, and I’d been praying that God would sustain me for the trip, that He’d help me make it through those drives safely.

But because we serve a God who sometimes comes through for us in ways that are beyond what we are expecting or even hoping for, I now have a friend who is going to travel with us! Last night was our church missional community group meeting, and my friend Catherine – whom FangFang loves – happened to mention that this is her “off” week in her 7-days-on-7-days-off work schedule. It occurred to me once we got home that maybe, just maybe, she’d want to join me for a road trip to Omaha, so I sent her a message, and she said the idea had actually occurred to her, too, and she’d love to come along us! That eases so many of my worries about the trip. I could do it myself, but it’ll be so much easier and so much more enjoyable to have a friend along!

I still expect these next few days are going to be pretty intense, but we’re doing what needs to happen to get FangFang all of the care that she needs, and that’s obviously important. Would you pray for all of us during this time? Here are some specific ways in which you could pray –

  • Please pray for FangFang and Catherine and me as we travel. Please pray for our safety as we drive and for us to make good time, as we’re shooting for an on-time arrival for our afternoon pre-op appointment tomorrow.
  • Please pray for Matt and our kiddos who are staying here. It’s a departure from routine and a lot of time without their mama for my kiddos who are used to being with me. I’ll miss them a ton, and I know they’ll miss FangFang and me, too. A friend is helping out in caring for them some, but it will still be a lot of solo parenting for Matt, who is also getting back into the groove of teaching.
  • Please pray that FangFang does alright with the restrictions on her food and drink intake prior to surgery. For kiddos who have experienced food insecurity, this is so tough.
  • Please pray for our sleep on Thursday night. Friday is going to be a big day, and it would be ideal for us to be well-rested heading into it.
  • Please pray that all goes well with the surgery itself – that the dentist makes wise decisions about exactly what needs to happen (with 3-year-olds, for whom it’s nearly impossible to get high quality x-rays until they’re sedated, some of the final decisions don’t happen until surgery), that everything goes smoothly, and that the work they do will ultimately give FangFang relief and protect her remaining baby teeth for as long as they need to last.
  • Please pray for her post-op recovery. After her last surgery, she was pretty sad and wanted a lot of food and drink, which ultimately led to several instances of projectile vomiting, but then rest. Pray for me to have wisdom about what food and drink to give her and how to care for her, and pray for everyone to be gentle and supportive in caring for her after surgery and to do what she needs. Please pray also for wisdom for everyone in determining when she’ll be discharged. This should be an outpatient procedure, but discharge timing all depends on her post-op recovery.
  • Please pray for pain management. The team I’ve been talking with has said that kiddos are actually often in less pain after a surgery like this, which has been precipitated by tooth pain, than what they’d been living with prior to surgical intervention. I’m hoping that’s the case, but we don’t really know how everything will go for FangFang, and I want her to be comfortable as she recovers.
  • Please pray for our travels back home. I’m really hoping for less vomiting and just a straight transition to the groggy restfulness after surgery. If all goes as planned, we’ll probably be discharged around 4:00 pm, and from there, we can just drive home, but we’ll still have a reasonably long drive ahead of us, especially with a kiddo who just came out of anesthesia and may be in some pain.

Thank you, friends. I’ll keep you posted as I’m able!

Omaha and Beyond

Our trip to Omaha last week was amazing. We knew going into adopting FangFang that the medical care necessary for a child with osteogenesis imperfecta (OI) would be significant. What a blessing to be able to see a specialist in every single related area all at once!

We arrived on Tuesday night and checked in at Rainbow House, which is right down the street from Omaha’s Children’s Hospital and is where most of the families getting treatment for kids with OI stay. We’d heard good things about it…and there were some good things…but actually our experience there was awful and ended up having repercussions that extended days (and dollars) beyond our stay. That’s all I’m going to say about that now, but we were pretty disappointed.

However, our experience at the hospital itself was great. It would be impossible for me to recommend the OI clinic in Omaha more highly!

Matt took Miranda, Mei Mei, and Atticus out for some adventures on Wednesday morning, and FangFang and I headed to the hospital. First up for her was a dexa scan, which measures bone density.

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Her bone density z-score actually came back at -5, which means the density of her bones is 5 standard deviations below the mean value for children her age – that is a huge difference.

We also did a bunch of x-rays – partly as a baseline, partly to give us more information about a recommended course of treatment now. I was really pleased – everyone was so helpful and easy to work with. I wanted an x-ray of her right humerus, as it had broken last September and felt a little off to me, but that wasn’t included in the standard list of initial x-rays, so the radiology nurses called right away to get an order from the OI clinic for that, so we could do it all at once.

FangFang and I had some time to kill in between appointments so hung out in the cafeteria for a while, about which she was pleased!

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You mean I can choose any snack I want, Mom?!?!

Next up was audiology. She clearly did not share their view that their attempt to look in her ear was a “no ouchie” situation, and after that she was pretty uninterested in their attempts to engage her further. We were able to measure that her ear drums do move, which is a good sign, and we’ll just leave the rest for next year.

Then we were free for the afternoon! Matt and Atticus went back to Rainbow House for naptime, and all 3 of the girls and I went to the hospital playroom for a play date! The online community of OI moms is so incredible, and 3 of us moms had discussed ahead of time the possibility of getting our girls, all with OI, all home from China within the last couple months, together. It was so cool to connect in person!

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The kiddos had fun playing, and we mamas got to chat, which was so nice!

Xiao (on the left) and FangFang were actually both at Agape Family Life House together in China, so they were reconnecting here for the first time since they were adopted! At first they seemed to have some cognitive dissonance seeing each other again in a totally new environment, but as our time went on, they warmed up to each other and were interacting really sweetly.

photo by Xiao's mama, Heather, of Snapshot Photography
photo by Xiao’s mama, Heather, of Snapshot Photography

It was so good to see. FangFang continued to ask about Xiao throughout our time in Omaha. We were so thankful it worked out for us to reunite these two, and we hope they can continue to enjoy this relationship in the years to come!

That evening we were able to reconnect with an old friend from our days in Chicagoland, who is now a professor at a nearby university, and we enjoyed a dinner out with him and his family.

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We really enjoyed that not only was this a trip to get some much needed medical care for FangFang, but we were also able to work in some fun times and connections with friends, both old and new!

Thursday was an early morning as we headed to clinic. We were given a large room (the better to house our large family!), and we settled in there. We just stayed in that same room all morning, and all of the doctors and medical professionals rotated around and came in and talked with us. It was awesome to see so many experts so quickly and easily!

First we met with Dr. Rush, the clinic director, and his team.

photo by FangFang!
photo by FangFang!

Then we saw Dr. Esposito, the world-renowned orthopedic surgeon. We also met with a social worker, a dentist, a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, and several nurses.

We learned so much. We went into this already having a lot of general knowledge but lacking the medical expertise to apply what we were learning to specifically what FangFang’s care would need to be. The doctors there believe that FangFang has Type IV moderate OI, which is what we’d expected. Her right femur shows evidence of having fractured and healed multiple times in the past, and it’s significantly bowed, so it will need to be rodded. Hopefully we can do that surgery before it fractures again, but it would also be great for her bones to be slightly more dense before we attempt it, so we’ll probably wait 4-6 months. That gives this mama a bit of time to prepare for the surgery, too, and try to prepare FangFang as well as possible. We’ll also have her left femur re-rodded at that time. It broke about 8 months ago and was rodded in China, but the rod has migrated a little bit, and that will start to get uncomfortable, so Dr. Esposito is recommending that we take care of both legs at the same time.

After clinic we split up. It was great for both Matt and me to be there and be able to ask questions and meet all of these key players on FangFang’s care team, and all 4 kids did amazingly well, given the expectation that they sit in a small room reasonably quietly for over 4 hours. There were some other things we needed to take care of that afternoon, so Matt took Madeleine CaiQun and Atticus with him to tackle that, and Miranda stayed with FangFang and me at the hospital. FangFang would be getting some bloodwork and her first stateside infusion of Pamidronate, which works to strengthen her bones and help them grow in their density.

Unfortunately, FangFang is not a super easy stick, and no matter how good they are, she is not happy for anyone to be poking at her veins, so that portion of the day was a bit traumatic for her. We got the infusion going, though, and then we were free to wander the halls!

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They had plenty of fun toys in the infusion center, but we hadn’t had lunch yet, so we went off in search of some food. I was so thankful that Miranda had stayed with me. She really has stepped into this role of big-sister-to-3 amazingly well, looking out for FangFang and offering hugs and playfulness and protection. Any time I needed to step away to use the bathroom, I asked a nurse to keep an eye on them, but it was Miranda who really engaged with FangFang and kept her happy.

We actually spent most of the afternoon in the surgery waiting room with Xiao’s parents. It was great to get to chat with them more…and they also helped me out a few times. I joked with Heather that everyone needed a friend who could serve them even while their own daughter was in surgery!

By the end of the day, we were super ready to be done. I hadn’t realized quite how long the whole process of getting the infusion would take, and we were finally discharged that evening about 12 hours after we’d checked in to the hospital that morning. Whew! It was a long day.

Between the reports of the suspected impending ice storm and our unhappiness with things at Rainbow House, we opted to drive home that night, so Matt and the other kiddos picked us up at the hospital when we were ready to go, and away we went, arriving home around 1:00 am.

The kiddos did really, really well with the whole trip, and we were so thankful we were able to get to Omaha so quickly and get such great input from so many experts in the field about how we can best care for FangFang. It was really awesome, and we’re so thankful for that opportunity.

The days ahead are rather daunting, as Matt heads back to work today. It has been such a blessing having him home in these early days as a family of 6, enabling us to have a much smoother transition than I suspect would otherwise have happened. However, he does have to return to teaching, and I’m somewhat intimidated by the prospect of having much longer days at home by myself with all 4 kiddos! Yesterday, a day during which Matt was gone for much longer than he was regularly away for most of winter break, was also a bit rough – I had moments of feeling quite triumphant…but that feeling was quickly squashed when both littles, enamored with the novelty of having Mom put them down for their naps instead of Dad, refused to sleep, rather complicating my plan for the day. We obviously have some kinks to work out. We’ll also be beginning the process of meeting with our local specialists (a local orthopedic surgeon, a PT evaluation, an OT evaluation, a school system evaluation, etc), and we’ll have to see how all of that goes and what the effects on our lives and schedules are going to be! Please pray for us as you are able!