A Big Birthday – Miranda Grace is Ten!

Miranda is our kiddo who most wants to have birthday parties with friends, so there was much dramatic discussion leading up to her birthday about whether it was even worth celebrating her birthday this year, since she couldn’t have a party. I told her that it was very sad that she couldn’t have a party, but we still wanted to celebrate her. We’d have to see what the coming months look like in terms of the possibility for a party, but in the meantime, it is good to celebrate each person and acknowledge their special days.

We went out of our way to do what we could to make her tenth(!!) birthday a special day within the context of the limitations of our social isolation, and we tried to celebrate it as well as possible!

The day began with some birthday gifts – first up, some homemade cards from sweet MeiMei <3

Usually Matt and I try to give a lot of our gifts in the form of certificates for future experiences we know our children will enjoy…but that, too, is rather impossible this year. Both Miranda and MeiMei have been spending copious amounts of time reading lately, and especially with the public library closed, we used Miranda’s birthday as an opportunity to expand our personal “upper elementary reading for pleasure” library. She also received some new art supplies, as well as several stuffed animal dragons (the Wings of Fire series has been a favorite for some time, and the kids all enjoy playing with dragons).

Some of our good friends drove by to wave from their car and say happy birthday to Miranda, which she enjoyed, as well <3

Her biggest request for the day was that we not do school, and I was happy to give the kiddos a day off. Fortunately, we had beautiful weather that day, and we spent a good portion of the day playing outside.

Several family members also called and FaceTimed with Miranda, which she loved!

In our family, when it’s your birthday, you get to choose a special breakfast cereal (Froot Loops) and whatever dinner you want. Miranda actually got a bonus meal, in that Courtney asked her what she’d like for lunch and sent her delivery from a local favorite Chinese restaurant, House of Chow. Her dinner of choice was homemade pizza, and she helped make her favorite – cheese pizza!

For her birthday dessert, she chose a “Peep cake,” though we had to substitute marshmallows, since stores were out of Peeps by the time I made our pre-birthday grocery order. I completely forgot to order candles, but luckily Matt came up with the idea to melt together two candles we already had to make a Roman numeral X for her.

There was no grand party, but we certainly enjoyed celebrating her as a family. In addition to our standard “high/low/buffalo/act of kindness/looking forward to” dinner activity, we added a category for each person to share something they love and appreciate about Miranda – she soaks up that affirmation.

It’s so strange to think that she is ten years old now. If she is ten, that also means that I have been a mother for ten years! On some level, that seems so natural to me – I have always wanted to be a mom, more than anything else. But it also seems like it was just yesterday that she was born!

She is undeniably her own person. We think she is an Enneagram 8 – a challenger through and through. She has firm convictions, which may or may not line up with Matt’s or mine. She views the world in black and white, and to say that she much prefers leading to following would be a gross understatement. She feels all feelings big, and we work hard on distinguishing between emotions, thoughts, and actions. While that sometimes presents challenges for her, it also means that her love and compassion are more than generous. She thrives when given opportunities to take responsibility, whether for cooking a meal or putting her little sister to bed (a ritual she and FangFang have recently started choosing for themselves most nights). Her love of animals is her reason for being a strict vegetarian, and she is great with our cats – the only cat allowed to sleep in a bedroom at night is Rosie, who spends almost every night on Miranda’s top bunk with her. Miranda dreams about wanting to be a baker and an engineer and a scientist, as well as wanting to be in charge of any number of things!

Being her mother is one of the great challenges and great joys of my life <3

Happy birthday, Miranda Grace!

Our Little Atticus Boy is 3!

At the end of November, our little Atticus boy turned 3!

It was actually a really hard day for me – because I was in Omaha with FangFangย and not with him. I’d known for quite a while that her tibias needed to be rodded, and I knew that if at all possible, she and I and another adult needed to go to Omaha for the surgery. FangFang, at age 4 and with a history of trauma, is completely opposed to my leaving the room after surgery. She doesn’t want to stay with a nurse, and she doesn’t want to stay with child life. This is understandable – but makes it difficult for me to do surgery trips with her as the sole adult (unless I can carry everything we’ll need for our stay in one trip and have no interest in eating for the duration of our time in the hospital). I talked with my mom about her availability, and I talked with a friend whom FangFang loves about her availability, and it just kept coming back to that week of Atticus’s birthday – that’s when it worked for my mom to travel with us to do surgery.

So I talked to some other mamas of kids with medical needs, who assured me that, yes, they had occasionally missed a birthday for one of their other kids, and it had all been okay; I spent a day crying; and then I e-mailed to schedule the surgery.

Fortunately, Atticus is young enough that he has no real ties to the specific day, and he was quite happy to celebrate his birthday early. In fact, it was probably even more fun for him, because we had family in town for Thanksgiving. We did love getting to celebrate with everyone!

Our little guy is obsessed with dinosaurs these days. Just about every present he received was dinosaur-related. There were dinosaur toys…

…there were dinosaur books…

…and there were dinosaur clothes!

Atticus, like our other children, has what our pediatrician calls a “strong personality.” One way in which this manifests itself is his pronouncements that certain clothes are good and others are not, seemingly at random. We have kiddos who have sensory challenges and preferences, and this isn’t that – it’s just a decision he makes. So, unfortunately, while he wants to wear dinosaur clothes on a daily basis, he has also announced that half of these items of clothing are unwearable! Youngest child or not, he has no problem developing firm opinions of his own and making them known.

He isย almost completely potty trained (hallelujah, I’m almost done with daytime diapers!!!!), which actually makes this clothing dilemma less of a big deal, because he is my only kiddo who has had most success with the nude method of potty training…so he mostly runs around naked all day long when we’re at home ๐Ÿ™‚ We may not be a conventional family, but it works for us ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, back to our birthday boy and his dinosaurs ๐Ÿ™‚ Even with many new birthday dinosaur presents, he is still excited every time he finds a new dino item. He was my grocery shopping buddy soon after his birthday, and he saw this walking, roaring dinosaur at Aldi, and he was so excited when I said he could use his birthday money from my dad to purchase it!

Aside from his dinosaur focus, he also requested an ice cream focus for his birthday ๐Ÿ™‚ He choose pizza and ice cream for his birthday dinner, which was greatly enjoyed by everyone!

About 3.5 years ago, when we found out that the baby with whom we were pregnant was a boy, I was a bit intimidated. I wondered whether I’d be a good boy-mom. I wondered if I’d love him the way I loved my girls. And now, with a little 3-year-old boy in my life, I can say unequivocally that this little guy is a treasure. Our Atta-boy has hilarious thoughts – I mentioned to him the other day something about when he was born in the hospital, and his response was, “I was not born in the hospital! I was born on the coffee table!” The girls and I dissolved in laughter, and I assured him that he was in fact, born in the hospital, and I offered photographs as proof (which he, fortunately, accepted!).

He’s a climber and a jumper, but he’s also a snuggler. He loves to laugh and play. I could not love this little guy more <3 I’m so thankful for the 3 years we’ve had with him so far and look forward to many more!

Looking Back: Happy Birthday to FangFang!

I’ve gotten a bit behind on my blogging about family events, but some are too important not to come back and address ๐Ÿ™‚ At the end of September, we celebrated FangFang’s 4th birthday! It was her first birthday home with us, and after seeing her sisters celebrate their birthdays, she wasย quite excited to have her own celebration!

Of course, for a 4-year-old, the gifts were a big draw ๐Ÿ˜‰ One of her favorites was a book we got for her called Three Names of Me. FangFang loves all things China, and she was captivated by this opportunity to have a book that tells a story similar to her own, of a girl adopted from China.

In addition to being drawn in by gifts, the promise of getting to choose her favorite meal and dessert was quite exciting for FangFang! She requested a pink cake with pink frosting, and we were happy to oblige.

She wanted “bear candles,” and Matt bought some gummy bears…and then impaled them on the candles(!) to create “bear candles.” I thought it was a little bit creepy, but FangFang approved ๐Ÿ™‚

She is simply delighted to have attention and to receive love from friends and family, and she very much enjoyed everything about her day. Celebrating it made me think back to last year, when she was still in China, and the poor child broke her arm on her birthday, but still, her joy shone through!

And she remains very much that same child today – so full of joy in any and every circumstance – but most especially when given attention and treats ๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s amazing to me how much changes and how much stays the same in the space of a year. In the space of a year, this girl had switched primary languages, transitioned from her foster home to her family, and moved from one country to another. Her life looked so different, and yet you can see, in her photos,ย herย shining through. To me it is a testament to the quality of the foster home where she lived that her personality and joy were so evident there, and we’re glad she has brought them into our home and family, as well.

It is a blessing to have her home and part of our family, and we were so glad to be able to celebrate her birthday with her!