2018 Goals

I spent a lot of time toward the end of 2017 thinking about what I wanted my goals for 2018 to be. 2017 was a crazy intense year. I’ve told a few people recently that I felt like I had about 800 balls in the air, and I dropped almost all of them at least once, and I’m slowly trying to pick up what is important. As we – hopefully – move toward a time of less necessary intensity, I’ve been wanting to be intentional about what my priorities and goals are, and I’ve come up with a few things.

  1. I want to try to cultivate peace and joy, both in my heart and in my home. First and foremost, I think this is a spiritual battle. I want to be more intentional about spending good time in my Bible and in prayer. I’ve started getting up earlier and doing a Beth Moore Bible study – just on my own – to help me stay in a pattern of doing that. Beyond that, I need to take some practical steps to enable peace and joy to flourish (like not over-committing myself to too many things). And I need to commit myself to examining my own heart throughout the day, practicing mindfulness and prayer and self-regulation, and I need to establish more patterns of treating every member of my family with respect, not yelling or expressing myself with sarcasm, even in my most frustrated moments. I think this is key to my growth as a person and as a wife and mom this year. 
  2. I want to rebuild our emergency savings fund. We basically wiped ourselves out financially to complete FangFang’s adoption at the end of 2016, and 2017 was such a crazy year with medical and travel expenses and just not having the mental or emotional energy to buckle down and commit to spending less money, so we pretty much just held steady financially. In 2018 we’d like to get back to a place of more financial security.
  3. I’d like to read 12 non-fiction books. I’ve been doing really well with keeping up with and enjoying some good fiction books lately. I read them on the Kindle app on my phone, which allows me to spend 2 minutes here or 5 minutes there reading as I’m able, which I so enjoy. But with non-fiction, I find that I am more thoughtful about what I’m reading if I read it in a paper copy, not a Kindle book, and I want to devote time and mental energy toward really integrating what I’m reading into my mind. That means I can’t just read it anywhere and everywhere and in 2-minute increments. But I am, at heart, a student and an intellectual. Matt and I are dorky people – it’s one reason we love homeschooling so much. I find that I feel more myself when I’m engaging with ideas, when I’m growing and learning. I want to make that a priority, reading and thinking on my own, and to that end, I’m making a goal of reading approximately 1 non-fiction book per month in 2018. And oh my goodness, I cannot wait to dig into this pile of books. I’ve started the first already, and it has been such an encouragement to my soul. 
  4. I’d like to get healthier. Exercise was sporadic, at best, for me in 2017, and I think my body feels the effects of that. And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that my metabolism isn’t what it used to be, and I’m needing to adjust to that. We remain committed to our pescetarian lifestyle and try to follow a fairly healthy, whole-foods, plant-based diet, but I think toward the end of the year, our meals tended more toward whole wheat carbohydrates and less toward vegetables, and I’d like to flip that around again. I’d also like to get a healthier amount of sleep – always a challenge with young kids 🙂 Overall, I’d just like to make progress toward being healthier.

Those are my top 4 personal goals for 2018. I’ll try to keep you posted here about how I’m doing in working on those, and I’d love to hear what your 2018 goals are!

being a student

Matt and I have often said that if money was no object, we’d be perpetual students. We love learning. So many of the experiences that helped shape me into who I am today took place during my undergraduate studies at Northwestern University, whether participating in discussions in Wendy Espeland’s Sociological Theory course, gaining a more comprehensive understanding of our country’s development through my Intro to US History course, essentially memorizing the textbook in preparation for Mark Witte’s Macroeconomics exams, or learning about the giants of Western Philosophy and their influence on contemporary thought in my Philosophy courses.

Recently I’ve decided to direct my studious nature toward a different arena – parenting and teaching young children.

I’ve found these recent weeks of parenting to be exhausting. It’s not so much the baby and the lack of a full night’s sleep; caring for Atticus requires much of me, but it’s usually pretty straightforward. Parenting the girls, on the other hand, is difficult beyond measure and draining in a different way. They need less help meeting their physical needs, but I devote hours each day to helping to shape their character, helping them to grow into the people they are going to be. And as much as I thought the stakes were high back when my biggest worries were about sleep training methods, they’re ever so much higher now. It’s not just, will she ever nap for longer than 30 minutes without me?, but, what kind of person will she grow up to be?

041

We’ve had several hard days during these last few weeks. I’ve made multiple phone calls to Chicagoland to check in with my good friend / parenting expert there – she has raised TWO, count them, TWO children who are functioning as adults, doing cool things, and following the Lord today! She’s two for two so far! And while she’s quick to say that she doesn’t have it all figured out either, that’s two more than I’ve raised!

In our young church community, I may not be surrounded by a multitude of older women from whom I can learn, but in the spirit of these posts – from girltalk and The Gospel Coalition – I am taking advantage of what I do have.

I’m making sure I get in at least a few minutes of time in the Word daily. Moody’s Today in the Word is going through Romans this month – hard-hitting and thought-provoking even in just a few minutes each day. I know I need to make an effort to be more consistent in prayer, as well.

I’m making those long-distance phone calls to seek out parenting advice from those with older children and parenting philosophies I respect. I sincerely appreciate it when I’m told where I probably blew it, and I try out suggestions of ways in which I can be training my kiddos going forward.

And I’m devouring the parenting resources with which I’m surrounded. In addition to some great blogs, like those above, I’ve been diving into some good books. Recently I read Hands Free Mama, which offered helpful encouragement to be truly present with my kids throughout the days (as opposed to being home with them but preoccupied by my phone or my “to do” lists…though I am curious about when the author actually does accomplish those necessary “to do” list items like dishes and laundry!). I’m about to finish The Whole-Brained Child, and I was delighted to find that much of what it discusses lines up so closely with what Matt and I learned last year from Karyn Purvis and others at the Empowered to Connect conference, though I think it will be more helpful once our kids are slightly older. And I just received a box in the mail with the parenting and teaching books that are next on my reading list – No-Drama Discipline, The Three R’s, and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.

104

I can’t wait to get into them and learn what I can.

As a college student, one of my worries when I contemplated becoming a stay-at-home mom was whether I would find it at all intellectually challenging. I’m discovering now that it’s every bit as challenging – and in heart-wrenching ways – as any other path I could have chosen.

What about you, readers? Any favorite books or other parenting resources?