Later today, my mom and FangFang and I are heading to Omaha again in preparation for another surgery for FangFang. This time the plan is to do bilateral tibia rodding – inserting rods into both of her tibias (the main bone between the knee and the ankle). We’d talked with her surgeon last winter and spring, and he’d hoped that once her femurs were rodded, her tibias would do alright on their own, but since then she has fractured both tibias, with one of the fractures being quite significant. With that, the plan has changed. For her to continue to progress safely toward walking and other gross motor skill developments, which she very much wants to do, it will help her tremendously to have her tibias rodded. Those rods will straighten and strengthen her tibias, hopefully preventing them from fracturing so frequently, and when they do fracture, the rods will act as internal splints, lessening the severity and effect of the fractures.
I’m very much looking forward to having the surgery done. I’ll stop holding my breath and hoping not to hear that tell-tale crack every time she pulls herself up to stand on the couch and starts cruising along or scoots herself up into a low chair or tries to go up or down the stairs by herself.
I think it’s going to be safer for her, better for her ability to continue to develop her gross motor skills, and better for how her legs feel for her.
But I am sad that in order to gain all of those things, she has to endure yet another surgery. And we haven’t had great luck with fractures this last month or so. FangFang broke her right humerus just over a week ago.
And then the next day, she hurt her left arm. We weren’t sure whether it was a fracture or not, and she alternated between wanting to use it and wanting to have it splinted, and we have followed her lead on that. She seemed more confident that it was alright yesterday, so we’re hoping that’s a good sign and she’ll continue to be able to use it without issue.
Mostly I’m hoping that she won’t have all 4 limbs incapacitated at the same time. Two arms at once has been really hard, so I’m really hoping her left arm continues to feel alright!
Would you pray for our trip and for her surgery please? You could pray for these specific things –
- Safe travels to Omaha and back.
- My kiddos and Matt at home – Miranda, Madeleine CaiQun, and Atticus are staying home with Matt, who still has his regular teaching responsibilities this week, so the kids will be hanging out with various friends for many hours this week. Please pray for them (and for our friends), as this will be far from their normal routine, and pray for Matt, who will be working and parenting on his own for several days.
- Successful bilateral tibia rodding – that the surgery would go well, that her surgeon would feel confident in the placement of the rods, and that she would have no complications. If you’re feeling particularly ambitious, you could pray that her surgeon is miraculously able to place FD rods, which are the type she has in her femurs, and which expand with the bone as it grows. He thinks her tibias are probably too small, and he’ll likely have to place a different type of rod, which he’d then have to replace sooner, but he still thinks that’s better than no rod. But we’ve heard from other parents that even when he expects not to be able to place FD rods, he’s sometimes able to do so, and that would be amazing.
- Pain management – The Omaha Children’s Hospital pain management team is great, which is huge in terms of post-op care. Apart from making sure we avoid infection or actual surgical complications, pain management is really the biggest focus after surgery – and it’s a huge factor that plays into my next prayer request…
- Discharge – We don’t know how long we’ll have to be inpatient after surgery. Assuming there are no complications, once we can get FangFang transitioned to oral pain meds, we should be able to leave and head home, and all of us do so much better here, so I’m hoping we won’t have to be in the hospital very long.
- Emotional support in the hospital – FangFang is our ever-friendly, always joyful extrovert. But even she has a hard time after surgery. She’s hurting and sad and wants me to hold her and stay within her sight at all times. Please pray that my mom and I can care for her well not only physically but also emotionally.
And, while it feels a bit silly that I’m asking for prayers for myself as my daughter heads into surgery, would you please pray for me, too? I think it’s important to be real and honest about what my life looks like, and for those of you considering adopting a child with special needs, what life parenting a child with special needs looks like. Friends…I’m tired. We’re coming off of a week of hosting my family for Thanksgiving and caring for our 4 children, which is a lot normally, but add to that the fact that one child, for large portions of time, had zero arms available so needed an adult (mostly me) to do nearly everything for her, and I have a cold, and I have not been sleeping enough or sleeping well – it’s a lot. Physically, I’m tired. And beyond that I am emotionally weary. This will be our 4th trip to Omaha and our 3rd surgery in less than a year. I’ll be, again, leaving my other kiddos home while I travel, over Atticus’s birthday, no less, which is so hard on my mama heart. I’m tired from arguing with insurance companies; I’m tired from coordinating to get all the documentation we need for everything we pursue; I’m tired from reassuring jealous siblings who view a trip to the ER as a special “Mom date;” I’m tired from not having gotten to worship with my husband for nearly a year, as one of us is always in FangFang’s and Atticus’s classroom at church; I’m tired from coordinating logistics for all things; I’m tired from the ordinary demands of motherhood and friendship and life in general. I’m just tired. All around, I’m tired. I’m tired as I head into a week in which much will be demanded of me as a mom. Please hear me when I say, this is the life I want. Parents who knowingly adopt kids with special needs sometimes, when they express that things are hard, hear, “Well, isn’t this what you asked for?” Yes, yes it is. This is the life we’ve chosen; this is the life we want; and we wouldn’t trade it for anything. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy. I’m pressing on and persevering in the midst of all we have going on in our lives. I will continue to be the Chaos Coordinator and the Mama Bear that my kids need. But I would so appreciate your prayers for my energy, my stamina, and my heart as I do that.
I’ll keep you updated on how surgery goes and how we’re all doing as I’m able.