Spring Break Excitement…Or Not

You may be wondering what a family of six that is saving money for a fun summer trip (as well as continuing to rebuild the emergency savings account that was wiped out with the last adoption!) chooses to do for spring break. It turns out…not much. Well, that’s not exactly true. We’ve been doing a lot – it’s just that none of it is particularly exciting.

In fact, with the exception of a blissful 36 hours in which everyone in our home was fever-free, we have had at least one sick child every day for the last 11 days. We’ve had runny noses, coughs, and fevers, and yesterday we added a confirmed ear infection to the litany of afflictions. The downside of having a lot of children is that illnesses can slowly make their way through them, one at a time, rendering at least portions of the family home-bound for long periods of time. We’re thankful it’s not worse, but this is getting pretty old!

In a way, it’s been nice that the weather has been so yucky – 40s, maybe 50, cloudy, rainy, and muddy. At least we haven’t felt like we’re missing out on much! Even though this week is Matt’s spring break, the kids and I are plugging away at school. We may as well do school now, when weather is yucky and everyone feels bad, so we have more time to enjoy the fun, warm, sunny days when they arrive.

dinner table school

We also have a number of medical needs in our family, and poor Matt is at my mercy this week, as I’ve scheduled as many appointments and meetings as possible to try to avoid having to drag all 4 children to everything. So far we’ve tackled an eye doctor appointment for one child, a meeting about access to our church’s children’s programs for one of our kids, an unexpected pediatrician appointment to confirm the ear infection, a cardiology appointment for Matt, and we tried to do an endocrinology appointment for two of our kids…but, for the first time (which actually might be impressive, given the number of appointments we have? or maybe it’s still just depressing) I had the day wrong, and they told us our appointment is actually tomorrow. Sigh. Tonight I’ll meet with another adoptive mom to talk some adoption stuff, and tomorrow we’ll do the actual endocrinology appointment and hit a physical therapy appointment. It’s all stuff that needs to be done…but it’s not exactly Disneyworld ūüėČ

I am thankful that we live in an era in which medical care is readily available. I’m thankful for our high quality health insurance that allows us to pursue that care without worry. It has not escaped my notice that not everyone has that right. My child who woke up with an ear infection doesn’t have to suffer longer than necessary. And since we need to take care of all of these specialist appointments, it is so nice to be able to do it during a week when Matt is around. This is part of what life with a medically complex child and others affected by various medical issues is all about. We knock out the appointments, do some school around them all, and try to get in some bits of family fun, as well <3

I hope your spring break is more exciting than ours – but also that if you are a family who has weeks like this, filled with a never-ending stream of appointments, that you can see the grace in the ability to do that, too.

Moving Toward Normal

Matt went back to work last week, so while we’re still settling into life and working toward our new “normal,” this was a big step toward that normal. It was an intimidating one! When we came home with FangFang, going from being home with 3 kids by myself a lot of the time to having both Matt and me home with 4 kids felt pretty manageable; I was not sure that transitioning to a lot of time of me being home with 4 kids by myself was going to be the same!

Honestly, overall, it has gone better than I expected!

The hardest part has been the toddler naps (or lack thereof). Matt had been putting the littles down for their naps, and they’d gotten used to that, apparently to the extent that my presence is now a significantly distracting novelty. Last Monday neither little one napped. Tuesday only one napped. But Wednesday and Thursday both napped, and it was glorious! I could work! There was a break for me in the middle of the day. It was so nice. No naps on Friday. Monday of this week both littles napped (but only after a combined 2 hours or so of effort from me), and¬†Tuesday neither napped. That has been incredibly frustrating – not only do I not get to work or get any calm, quiet time during the afternoon, but I spend 60-90 minutes trying to get the littles to do something they’re not going to do, and that’s time I don’t get to spend doing anything else productive, and they don’t nap anyway. Then we’re¬†all grumpy for the rest of the afternoon. I’m really not ready for them to give up naps – but whether I’m ready for it or not, I’m not sure they’ll keep napping regularly for very long. I need to come up with a different strategy for getting in my work hours, and I think I may need a different nap-encouragement strategy, as well. I’ve gotten some advice, and I’m working on it. In the meantime, this is an area in which we could use prayers – for patience, gentleness, and sleep.

We’ve been able to do school every day, which has been really encouraging to me. We’re figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Being intentional about getting out some good toys for the littles makes a huge difference. Often times, trying to do¬†everything in the morning does not work; but neither does saving the most intense stuff for the afternoon. We need to start with math right away and get through it before we move on to anything else. And while the bigs are doing math, I can often read to the littles and get in a little bit of quality time with them before I need to devote my focus to the bigs again. Once math is wrapped up, I give all the kids a little bit of time to play. Then we do Language Arts and “reading school”¬†– Bible, history, geography, and the girls reading out loud. If everyone’s stamina is holding up, we can sometimes get in science, too, but it often works better to leave that for after the littles’ naps. We’re making our way through the curriculum at a pretty good pace, and while I would have loved to have gotten more done before we went to China, I’m generally pretty happy with where we’re at right now and how we’re able to move through it even with everyone home.

science experiment time!
science experiment time!

I’m working on the balancing act of my own household responsibilities and investing in the kiddos beyond school time. Miranda really enjoys games like Backgammon and “the dice game,” a simplified version of Yahtzee that she’d been playing with my dad. Madeleine CaiQun loves reading and snuggling. Both littles are very into almost anything I’ll do with them – building towers and toppling them and snuggling and reading together. Everyone loves it when we pretend they are airplanes and I fly them around. I’m trying to make time for those things.

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At the same time, though, I need to pay bills and keep up with dishes and laundry. Friends from church had been bringing dinners for us a few times a week through last week, which was so helpful, but I’m now back to planning and preparing all of our food. I’m incredibly thankful for all of the meals I prepared and froze last summer and fall – those are going to sustain us through much of this semester, I expect. Matt has also been helping out with all of the necessary household stuff in the evenings.

And in the midst of it all, we’re tackling appointments and evaluations. In the space of 11 days, we’ve had or will have 11 different appointments, procedures, or evaluations – not all for FangFang but many of them for her.

The big girls are convinced that while we're waiting for PT to start, they should be helping FangFang learn to crawl.
The big girls are convinced that while we’re waiting for PT to start, they should be helping FangFang learn to crawl.

I’ve also spent hours filling out paperwork and talking with intake coordinators for various programs and¬†checking items off of our running to-do list with the nurse at our pediatrician’s office. Friends have been kind enough to help out with our kiddos, which I¬†so appreciate, so that I’m not dragging 4 kids with me to every single appointment or procedure. A pretty quick x-ray appointment? We all go. It’s just part of life. However, today’s CT scan for which sedation is required and I need to be able to focus on a 3-year-old who derives major comfort from food and is not allowed to eat for hours before the procedure and whose sedation recovery I’ve never experienced before? I’d like to tackle that one without another 3 kids in tow, thankyouverymuch!

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with all 4 kiddos in the x-ray waiting room

I did leave the house by myself with all 4 kids multiple times last week, an accomplishment of which I was immensely proud! It requires a little bit of planning, but it feels pretty manageable, so I’m thankful for that.

I don’t feel like we’re in any sort of normal rhythm yet. I think we’re tackling everything we need to do in order to move toward that, though, and I have hope that we’ll get there. Of course, we may get there just in time for the end of Matt’s semester, which changes everything again, or for a femur rodding surgery, which will change everything, too, or – please, no! – a femur fracture, which would also change everything, but we’ll work through all of that as it happens. We just keep moving forward, taking one step at a time, and moving toward the goals we hope to reach.